"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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