this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
