It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
she pinky promised me she was 18
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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