i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
