do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
