I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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