don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
