I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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