just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
