Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
