I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
