Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
