If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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