im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We just shotgunned beers for America
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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