So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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