I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize