My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
