Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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