Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm at about main and main street
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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