good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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