you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
