I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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