I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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