a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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