Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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