i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
