Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
