Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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