this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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