So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
