fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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