Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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