I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
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