i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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