new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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