Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
