I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
