The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
