if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
