I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
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