Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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