I wish life had little blips of pornography
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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