I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
