I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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