We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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