batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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