i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
