ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
