so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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