Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
