Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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