My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
