You made me cry and you don't even care
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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