she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
